Ineffective Communication is Expensive and Causes Stress

Ineffective Communication is Expensive and Causes Stress

There are 550 million working days lost each year because of absenteeism. Experts claim that stress is responsible for half of those days. Stress attacks the immune system, elevates your blood pressure, and directly affects health costs.

Of all the maladies and symptoms going on in the work place, employers and managers give stress the shortest shrift. Stressed employees avoid coming to work, they avoid confrontation, they cannot resolve conflict and as a result progress is halted. They become contentious.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention asserts that a full 80 percent of our medical expenditures are now stress-related.

Three Things Parents Should Never Do – Part 2

Three Things Parents Should Never Do When Communicating with Teenagers

Part 2: Never Justify your Actions or Words

There are three things a parent should avoid when communicating with their precious minds full of mush (teenagers).

1. Never seek agreement
2. 2. Never justify your actions or words
3. Never blame the teenager for something you don’t approve

One definition for justify is to fill a space evenly or form a straight edge. To align with a true line.

Are Your Kids Getting Bad Grades in School? It Could Be Stress

Are Your Kids Getting Bad Grades? It Could Be Stress

Have you ever wondered why your children struggle in school? Or better yet, how is it they do well for a season and then fall apart? Studies have shown that stress is a huge factor in school grades.

Consider the three ingredients driving stress and how they are found in your home.

1. Emotional intensity
2. A strong dislike or aversion
3. Lack of control

When was the last time you and your spouse had an argument? Did the children witness your argument?

The Four Horseman

John Gottman, PhD.  from the University of Washington has done amazing work and research on marriage over the past few decades and has identified four key problems that lead to divorce. He calls them the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse.

The four problems are: criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling.

Dr. Gottman explains that contempt for a partner is the most crucial indicator of divorce. He can predict with 95% accuracy if a couple will divorce after watching them for only 15 minutes.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are a metaphor depicting the end of the world. They are described as conquest, war, hunger, and death.

It’s My Money

My wife and I attended a recent Bridal show at the Tacoma Dome to discuss our system for helping newlyweds improve the odds that their marriage will last. Some folks were very interested; others were kind but were not.

The most interesting were the very opinionated brides to be when asked, “Do you have a Spending Plan?” Their almost agitated responses proved insightful:

“I have my money and he has his. He’ll never know how much. As long as he buys his socks and underwear, we’re fine.”

Lust is not Love

Some of life’s greatest lessons are counter intuitive. Growing up I always believed the ultimate in an interpersonal relationship was love. Now those exact words didn’t exist, but the thought process was the same.

Some men select a bride because she has pretty eyes, some because she has pretty hair. A man once married his bride because she could sing. On the morning after their marriage, when he saw her without any paint or powder on, and saw a part of her hair on the dresser, he looked at her and said,” Sing, for hell sakes, sing!”

So You’re Getting Married

I have some good news and some bad news.

First the good news: if approached correctly, married life will be the most glorious, blessed, and rewarding time spent with another person. Words are inept at trying to explain the love, the trust, and the respect that are developed in a successful marriage. Happy marriages deepen and get better with time.

Now the bad news: if not approached correctly, you have a 50 percent chance of getting a divorce. That doesn’t count marriages that don’t end in divorce but are not happy.

So now what? Consider this question: